I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i drank out of a bidet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
