I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
