So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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