he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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