is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
