Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize