Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize