Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
