Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
