She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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