its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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