She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
