Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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