If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
