is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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