Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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