We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
