Your dad touched me again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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