I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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