I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
