I'm lost and stupid without you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
