I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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