Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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