One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
