Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
