I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
