My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
