god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think people are normalizing furries
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
