The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
