I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize