Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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