If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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