Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
