Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
