I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
