Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
