It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.