your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks