Im at strip club and am horny
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that