I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.