Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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