We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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