would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
