when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
