I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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