I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
