you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
