hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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