walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
