you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
