Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
