You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize