At least make sure they are 18
Why
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
