im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
