I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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