You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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