I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize