there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
