could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
