and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
