Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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