What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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