Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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