She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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